I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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