Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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