im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
