brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
