when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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