my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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