K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
