So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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