So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
