if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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