I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
