she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
