Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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