just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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