The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
