I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
