Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This baby is an asshole
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
