guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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