i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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