I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
