omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
