If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
