Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
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Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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