you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
