my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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