I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A bitchslap is in order.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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