It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
