yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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