Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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