bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize