She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
