Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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