You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
