dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
