yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
