i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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