East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
