Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
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I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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