I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
