Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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