it wasn't lemon gatorade
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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