North Korea, Best Korea!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If I die, sorry about rent.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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