Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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