Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
