i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
