A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
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I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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