Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
