I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
