I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
