Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
