I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
