dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
