i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
