Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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