The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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