Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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