I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
