I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
