addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i now understand why vodka
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
