What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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