I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just blew my weed a kiss
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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