My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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