Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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