I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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