I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
